How you were loved shapes how you love now.

As children, we learn what to expect from the people we depend on. If a parent was unpredictable, critical or frightening, you adapted, maybe by becoming hyper-aware of moods, staying very independent, or working hard to keep everyone happy. Those adaptations often follow you into adult relationships, friendships and work.

Attachment-focused therapy looks at those patterns, where they came from, and what you need now.

• Anxious or avoidant patterns in dating and partnerships
• Figuring out your relationship with your mother after a childhood where your father was the main aggressor
• Being the oldest daughter, or the family's emotional manager
• Breakups, and noticing the same pattern again

Part of the work is understanding your history. Part of it happens in the therapy relationship itself: noticing what comes up when someone is consistent, and practicing saying what you need. I often combine it with parts work and EMDR.

Sessions are $180 for 60 minutes after a $200 initial assessment. I am in network with Anthem, Aetna and United through Alma, and provide superbills for other plans. See all fees.