Asking for connection, or testing it?

A quick check on how you look for reassurance, then a worksheet for the next time it doesn't feel like enough.

How it works1. Answer ten statements and press the button. About two minutes.2. Use the leak check below on a recent moment that bothered you.3. Print it or save it as a PDF if you want to keep it.Educational, not a diagnosis. Nothing is saved or sent.

Part 1: How do you look for reassurance?

01I hint at what I want instead of asking for it.

Not trueSometimesVery true

02I often need to check that people still like me.

Not trueSometimesVery true

03I get hurt when people don't notice something I never mentioned.

Not trueSometimesVery true

04A slow reply or short message can ruin my mood.

Not trueSometimesVery true

05I sometimes go quiet to see whether anyone will notice.

Not trueSometimesVery true

06I can tell people my story without letting them see how I feel about it.

Not trueSometimesVery true

07Reassurance helps for a little while, then the doubt comes back.

Not trueSometimesVery true

08I say I'm fine to see if someone will push past it.

Not trueSometimesVery true

09I keep score of who reaches out first.

Not trueSometimesVery true

10Asking for care makes me feel needy or embarrassed.

Not trueSometimesVery true

Part 2: The reassurance leak check

Think of a recent moment when someone showed up for you and it still didn't feel like enough.

What happened? What care did I actually receive? What did my brain say was missing? Did I expect them to know without asking? What would have felt like "enough"? Would that have stayed enough? Am I looking for care, certainty or proof? What could I ask for directly?

Read: why reassurance never feels like enough Book a free consult

General information, not advice about your situation. In a crisis, call or text 988, or call 911.