Andrea Lynn Piazza

What did I give up to keep the peace?

For after a relationship where you had to keep shrinking to stay safe. This isn't a checklist for whether it was abuse. It's a place to start noticing what you want back.

How it works1. Answer whichever questions you can. Skip the rest.2. Go slowly. You don't have to finish in one sitting.3. Print it or save it as a PDF, and come back to the last two questions in a month.Nothing you type is saved or sent.

If you're still with someone who controls or frightens you, the National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you plan safely: call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. If someone checks your devices, use a private browser window or a device they can't access.